California Woman Perishes in 'Bizarre' Accident
(06-19) 12:16 PDT Concord, Calif. (AP) --

Associated Press photo by Agnes Ogoorukuk

A Concord, California woman perished in a bizarre moving accident Sunday afternoon. Authorities said Holly "Shocks" Lyons, age 50, was found crushed under a pile of packing boxes in her living room Sunday afternoon. There was no evidence of foul play, according to investigating officer Richard Tracey, who called the accident "Bizarre, and really, pretty stupid." Those sentiments were echoed by neighbors and relatives. One neighbor, present at the excavation, said, "It's truly surprising. These places have no storage space, how did she fit so much sh*t in there?" A relative, who gave his name as Mr. Blackheart, expressed regrets on behalf of the family, and said, "We never thought she'd go this way. We always thought, like, she'd pop her clogs under a garbage truck or something while riding on that damned motorcycle, you know?" "It's a shame, really. The woman was the best shark bait we ever had when we was chummin'. It'd do your heart good to see the ol' gal scramble back into the boat. She was a faster than you'd 'spect. Faster than the sharks 'spected, too." He was visibly shaken. He also commented, "I wasn't there. I have witnesses."